Hide and Seek

What should have been a routine CT scan turned into a 3 and a half hour painful search for a vein. When I went into the radiology department this morning they needed a vein for the dye that they use for a CT scan. My veins went on strike and could not be found. They looked in my arm, my hand, and my feet. Nothing! It was pretty awful being poked over and over again. When a vein was finally found it was extremely tiny so they had to drip the dye through it in the slowest pace they could go, and even that was excruciatingly painful. It was not a fun morning and now my right hand is going to look like a bruised pin cushion.
The afternoon was all about relaxing and resting and recuperating from the morning ordeal and now I'm feeling much better again. I kept a cold compress on my hand so hopefully that will keep the swelling down. Definitely time for a port line of some kind.
My sister just left this evening and my niece is here with me now. Thank you, staff, for the beautiful bouquet of flowers and your card of kind words. Thank you, everyone, for prayers and love and concern.

God is ALWAYS present - even on the tough days.
Sandra

God is good!

What a beautiful day! Sunny, warm, and full of good things. My brother-in-law fixed something that had been broken a long time on my computer. My sister gave me a little hair trim this evening. We tried to make my hair look thicker because it's getting so thin and it worked. I had friends drop by to visit and that was just plain heart-warming. I didn't have to move around much today and that meant the pain stayed away for the most part. Yay! Thank you, God, for relief from pain. I even played a song on the piano. God is so good; He's so good to me!

In God's love,
Sandra

Shielded and Protected

It's going to be a very still week. As long as I stay put and don't move around too much, I can keep the pain under control. And that's my goal. I'm so glad to have my sister here with me this week so she can help out in so many different ways. Today she baked some delicious cookies. Come on over for tea and you can taste them.
My sister shared a beautiful Bible verse with me and I want to pass it on. Deuteronomy 33:12 says "Let the beloved of the Lord rest secure in Him, for He shields him all day long, and the one the Lord loves rests between His shoulders." Isn't that just so comforting? I love that verse - the image of God wrapping His shoulders around me to protect me and shield me as I walk along step by step.

God is my shield,
Sandra

Let Go and Let God

Finally I'm feeling awake and alert enough to put up this post on my blog. Yesterday afternoon I had my nephrostomy tube replaced. However, just like Monday afternoon, what was supposed to be routine and painless turned into another painful experience. When the doctor went in to replace the tube he noticed that the kidney had collapsed, or was not dilated. He suspects that there is either a tumour in the kidney, or a tumour pressing against it. I needed a lot of morphine and have continued taking a lot today, too. I'm pretty good as long as I remain still and don't move around much. It takes all my pain-fighting energy just to go in or out of my chair. I'm the most content to just stay put in one place and I keep dozing off. My mom and dad were with me the last two nights and now my sister and brother-in-law are here.
I just read a devotional about worry. Pretty appropriate for me right now. It's easy to worry about what is next down the road but that's not going to help. Help me to let go, God, and give this painful burden over to You.

Thank you all for your prayers and love,
Sandra

Breathing Easier

Ahhh... Breathing easier again. Tomorrow I return to the hospital to have the nephrostomy tube changed. That will be happening every 6 weeks from now on. I begin and end the work week with hospital visits.
This morning I went to school to attend the grade 5 farewell chapel. It was good to be at school but I feel sad that I was not able to teach a music lesson to grades one, two, and three. That was the plan for this week but it was just not possible. Sometimes the twists and turns of this journey are hard to accept and I have to ask God to still my soul and rest in His abiding love.

Still, my soul, be still...
Sandra

Hospital Visit #?

When I got up this morning I realized that my breathing was very poor and shallow. Needless to say, I could not teach today. Instead I went to emergency to have my left lung drained. It was a very, very painful procedure today, unlike last time four months ago. The fluid drained too quickly and there was so much that it caused me great discomfort. A total of 1400 ml. of fluid was taken off the left lung so I can breathe better again but the lung is so very tender and sore. I'm trying to take some deep breaths to help the healing process. I am not alone tonight. My oncologist came by to see me in emerg.(she's so wonderful) and said I could not be alone tonight. Maybe tomorrow I will start my chemo. Please pray that I will sleep restfully and peacefully tonight and the left lung will heal quickly.

Assured in God's loving care,
Sandra

Catching Up...

Oh my, it's been a while since I blogged. I had a good day today and went to church this morning. This afternoon we got together as family to celebrate Father's Day. Tomorrow I'm going to school again to teach a few more classes. Last week I taught the grade five classes. I enjoy seeing all the students in music before summer vacation begins.
Tomorrow I will also start another round of chemo. I got a few extra days over the weekend to give my body more time to heal from the procedure I had done last week Monday. I've been feeling OK - better than last week anyways. My stomach has settled down and I enjoy eating again.
I hope you have a good week and maybe we'll see that yellow circle in the sky!

In His love,
Sandra

Rough Days

On Monday I had a big day. I was at the hospital most of the day. Things went pretty well and my left stent was removed without too much pain. Now my body is healing and so I have to put off starting the chemo until I am doing well. I check in with my oncologist again tomorrow. Yesterday and today I have been very tired and today my stomach was upset. Now things are settling down again so hopefully I can have a good sleep. My oncologist said to stop taking my bone medication because I'm experiencing side effects of the drug. So that drug is gone and now I will go onto an IV bone drug once a month at the chemo clinic. It's been a rather difficult past two days but tomorrow is a new day. Pray that things will go better and I'll have energy to do more.

In Christ alone,
Sandra

True Faith

"True faith is...a deep-rooted assurance created in me by the Holy Spirit through the gospel that, out of sheer grace earned for us by Christ, not only others, but I too, have had my sins forgiven, have been made forever right with God, and have been granted salvation." (Heidleberg Catechism #21). That statement just hit me this morning in church and gave me such comfort. "Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine."
Tomorrow is a big appointment day. I think I'll be in the hospital most of the day. Lab work at 9:00 a.m., then a visit with my oncologist, and then a left stent removal procedure at 12:30 p.m. Please pray that all will go well and that removing the stent, which is not working anyways, will also free me from the kidney pain. With that pain gone I could possibly go off the morphine, which I would very much like to do.
God's blessings to you in this new week. May you experience the joy and assurance of salvation daily.

Love in Christ,
Sandra

Singing God's song

I was just getting ready for bed and realized I had not connected with you for awhile. So here goes....I am very tired tonight but it's a good, "healthy" tired. I taught three classes of grade four music today. It was exhilarating and absolutely satisfying. It just felt so good to be at school in my music teacher capacity. I will sleep well tonight - I'm pretty sure about that.
I'll just keep walking along, singing God's song because it's all good. God is here and He is good.

Singing His praises,
Sandra

Music Wonder

Yesterday evening I went to Vancouver to hear a concert by the Vancouver Symphony. A young man of only 17 years of age was the guest pianist for a beautiful piano concerto by R. Schumann. It was absolutely breath-taking! The concerto itself is amazing but this young man's playing was even more amazing. He has a career ahead of him as a concert pianist, that's for sure.
I played piano myself for a little while today but most of the day I relaxed in my chair and read a book, took a few naps, visited with a friend, and wrote this blog message. Did you have a good Sunday? I hope this week will be a good one for you, too.

Love, Sandra